Desert Devotion: Matthew 26:40

"And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping." Matthew 26:40

The past two weeks have been a restful change for our family. We have slowed down from the crazy months of June and July. We are enjoying August as our last month before our online academy starts in the middle of September. I have joyfully slipped back into the quiet life of a stay-at-home mom.

But, as I got up early this morning to spend time with the Lord before church He spoke to my heart about something I have known was brewing in my life. Tears are forming in my eyes as I write this because of the struggle.

I this passage the disciples were asked repeatedly by Jesus to stay awake and pray with him. He would steal away during those time to pray privately with his Father only to return to find them sleeping soundly. He again would ask them to awaken and pray...to be diligent about the relationship and request He had made of them. But, when He was away they would return to their slumber.

**(this was deleted accidentally earlier!)***

I love being at home. I enjoy the times where we play together, relax together, and worship together. I love being a stay-at-home mom...and I have over the years begun to really love that God has, for now, called me to homeschool. So, when the days are calm and I am able to just spend the days and evenings with my family and friends...I deep down inside begin to slumber a little bit in the ministry area of my life. Sometimes, I wish it would all go away sometimes and I could stay snuggled in my home life all the time. I cuddle in and want to pull the covers over my head and let the ministry part of my life take a good long nap for a while.

But, when I get in that car or plane and begin ministering to women all over this globe...it is like a yoke that I was created to wear...just like that yoke of being a wife, mother, friend, and church member. They both fit so perfectly and I am totally in the Spirit attending them both. I don't understand it, but am working to walk this journey in faith believing it is possible. I am striving to believe what our mission statement is for DFM...that I can THRIVE in them both...as long as the Lord leads.

So, as I see those disciples falling asleep in their commission to pray with Jesus...to join Him where He leads...I relate. They had just been a part of a very intimate time filled with love and passion as they observed the Lord's supper with Jesus. But, as the meal came to an end, the hymns were sung, and the others headed home...Peter and the sons of Zebedee were asked to join Jesus in another mission. They were asked to go a little longer to another place. But, they missed out on this journey with Christ because they were sleeping. They missed the chance to pray with Jesus!

I don't want to be a woman with two different identities. I want to be a woman that joins Jesus in the comfy, intimate, loving times where I am with those that I tenderly love the most. But, I also want to be wide awake when Jesus calls me to join Him in a mission to strengthen my sisters whom I love so dearly too...no matter where that is!

I know you each deal with this type of thing. We all struggle to live in balance! We are wives, mothers, co-workers, friends, siblings, children, church members, ministers, students, etc. We all juggle staying attentive to Jesus in all those areas, I'm sure. But, let's seek to allow God to keep us THRIVING in each instead of slumbering in one or more of those areas. I want to be wide awake for whatever Jesus is up to...or whatever He asks for me to join Him in doing! I don't want to miss a thing!